Facing Uncertainty as a Practice: Freedom, Presence and the Patterns We Inherit

In a time marked by anxiety, division and disconnection, the path forward lies not in fixing the past but in expanding our freedom to imagine what’s next. In this episode of Learning Through Experience, Dr. Heidi Brooks is joined by Suzi Tucker, a writer, teacher and pioneer of Family Constellations work. Together, they explore how our personal and ancestral stories shape the patterns we repeat—and how stepping into those patterns with curiosity can help us reorient toward hope.

With warmth, wisdom and respect for the unknown, Suzi shares how facing uncertainty isn’t about certainty at all—it’s about accompaniment. It’s about standing on the shoulders of those who came before us and choosing, even in fear, to take one generative step toward something more. Through stories of lineage, loss, and liberation, Heidi and Suzi offer listeners an invitation to slow down, pay attention and let learning emerge.

“When I plant a seed, that's really all I have to do. I don't know what's going to come. That one generative step is enough.” —Suzi Tucker

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Show Notes & Key Moments

03:00 – A Brother Remembered, a Path Revealed

Suzi recalls how the absence of her institutionalized brother shaped her and how an encounter with Bert Hellinger—founder of Family Constellations—marked a turning point.

“I decided I had a freedom my mother didn’t have, and I used it. I went to meet my brother—not for him to know me, but for me to know him.”

10:16 – The Work of Freedom vs. Healing
Suzi explains that her work isn’t about fixing the past—it’s about freeing people to move forward.

“Healing is personal and beautiful, but not necessarily connected to something in the future. Freedom is.”

13:36 – Patterns, Habit and the Energy of Stuckness
Heidi and Suzi discuss how we get trapped in cycles inherited from our family systems—and how awareness opens space for choice.

“Those places where I’ve done the same thing over and over again—and then I defend it, and get angry at the defense—that’s when spirit gets siphoned off.”

18:00 – Group Work, Lineage and Accompaniment
Suzi reflects on what emerges in her constellation workshops—and why showing up in community can be a pathway to hope.

“When I look at a group of 40, I see 4 million. I’m working not just with people, but with the lineages sitting beside them.”

24:45 – Facing Uncertainty with Ancestral Support
Suzi names the emotional reality of living in uncertain times and how drawing from lineage can be a grounding force.

“I call it the lethargy of despair. But then I feel my predecessors stepping in and saying, we’ve seen this before.”

27:29 – Writing as a Practice of Possibility
For Suzi, writing becomes a tool to move beyond fear and uncertainty.

“I’m writing my path beyond the threshold of fear.”

43:23 – Constellations and a Shift in Perspective
Constellations offer a way to step outside the chaos and view one’s story with new eyes. Heidi and Suzi discuss why representing others in a group can be transformative.

“It’s not about understanding the system, but knowing there is a system—and it looks different depending on where you stand.”

48:22 – Generative Endings and Ongoing Unfolding
Suzi explains that constellations don’t end with solutions, but with new images that change the structure of how people move through life.

“I picture my parents behind me, my brother beside me, and I walk forward. And I imagine them saying, We’re so glad they didn’t stay trapped in our fear.”

53:55 – Something to Sit With
Heidi closes by highlighting the invitation at the heart of this episode: not to solve uncertainty, but to meet it.

“Fear is familiar. Possibility is harder to trust—but it’s there. And we can take one generative step toward it.”

Resources

• Suzi Tucker’s website: Explore Suzi Tucker’s website to learn about her upcoming retreats, workshops, and sign up for her newsletter.
• ‘Til Soon: Paradigm-shifting life prompts through the unique lens of Systemic Constellations, by Suzi Tucker.
• Acknowledging What Is: Conversations With Bert Hellinger: In this thought-provoking series of dialogues, Bert Hellinger—the originator of the Family Constellation method—offers profound insights into the unseen dynamics that shape family systems. Through real-life examples and practical reflections, he explores how acknowledging hidden entanglements can unlock the path to personal and generational healing.
• Holding Love: A Teaching Seminar on Love's Hidden Symmetry: Drawn from a live seminar in San Francisco in 1999, this comprehensive three-part resource offers an in-depth look at applying Family Constellations in therapeutic settings. Hellinger guides viewers through the subtle patterns influencing love and relationships, illustrating how the method can reveal underlying forces at play in couples and family work.